The majority of them treat me extremely well, but I feel like also maybe there's stuff I'm not aware of. Is it possible that i've wrongly set some expectations and they are just not met? Should I ask him to fall back? My friend met her in her class since we were in different one, and was introduced to her. This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. With one of them i've been with since elementary school, the other one we met in high school. The issue is, the friend we met at high school, let's call her Z, she joind the military while the rest of the two of us continue our studies iin our hometown. Everyone needs someone to talk to sometimes and he happens to bond with that guy. Or perhaps you said something that may have been true that he didnt like that may have hurt his ego or self image. But if your friends can't notice they're either naive as shit, don't give a fuck or are simply shitty people. Ive told him that I we need more obvious boundaries but when he gets mad thats out the window. Z doesnt have as much free time anymore, we'll only see her a few times a month, and we get to talk to her even less. But recently the friend group I'm in has been hanging out at "Jim's" house. Whenever she gets to visits us i will usually meet up with her because i know this little time is precious and i've just missed her, i want to spend time with her while i can and make memories. But dont make scenes in front of my friends. I asked him nicely if he happened to have any close people to himself that he can hang out with because sometimes I need time with my childhood friends, but he gets defensive. I told her everything i'm telling you guys right here. Please help!. She was not in my social circle, but I was. This will ground you in the present and take you out of your chattering mind. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. Please make sure you read our rules here. Ive never felt this way about anyone before and I think I might be in love with her. Walk away unless you think you can actually convince them he's toxic. Then they get mad when I say no like I'm supposed to just say yes. bBut don't i also deserve a hi whenever she can of course, like my friend. If you can, look the person in the eyes . Privacy Policy. Am I tripping? I love Z to death, she's the best and i miss her a lot, she's awesome, one of the best people i know and i wouldn't want to loose her. If i talk to people about it they say that they do not relate to what Im saying at all. tell him how you feel with confidence and degrade him. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? So the guys I'm hanging out with after school, or at parties, or during school, and . She proposed i then go to see Z at her place since they'd meet up there, i said i didn'd really wanted to this moment and asked why. I get that he bonds with him and its fine if he confides in him,. Note this because it'll help you throughout life. Last weekend was one i will remember forever. I am in this friend group, me and my other two friends. , "I never did anything to him. Except for the one who I wrote about in the beginning, for the past couple of months he really seems to want to make me look bad. She's awesome, we have such a good good time together, always! Nobody does anything without reason. If you aren't sure, take another breath and feel it enter your stomach. My boyfriend cant keep it up and hes the worst sexual My boyfriend and I (F 20, m 22) have been dating for my boyfriend is privileged and doesn't know it. Make it a boundary. It is not the deciding factor, but it does help the moderators get a feel on how receptive this community is to a post. I feel awful when my friend mentions she talked to Z and i got nothing from her. Obviously. So there ist this guy that basically turned an entire friend group against me by talking shit behind my back. Privacy Policy. Brother and SIL demanding we get married in the eyes of Press J to jump to the feed. For more information, please see our Need help with your relationship? This has happened to me once. All of these will be removed and locked. If this post does not fit r/entj, DOWNVOTE This comment! OP- ive been where you are before and it is scary, i understand how real it all feels for you. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. My friend says that she just doesn't have the time and that since i know her i shhould know how much she cares about me. I started liking her again this September and since then Ive liked her more and more. and our It's weird because it isn't like we aren't close, we have so much fun the two of us when she's over and she'll show it with her actions i can see she cares and loves me, but i just don't get that? Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, am I the asshole? Welcome to r/relationship_advice.Please make sure you read our rules here. I send little funny memes or tiktoks to make her smile whenever she has the time to see them but i never get a conversation. I know this makes him sound bad but he is a good guy, just very dependent and socially anxious, so I feel like me getting him used to everyone I know and a new environment makes him feel like hes not in his shell anymore so he clings to it. Except for the one who I wrote about in the beginning, for the past couple of months he really seems to want to make me look bad. And i don't doubt that! Im Not sure what exactly Im asking for but I need advice. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc. Anything, really anything. This just pisses me off and makes me say no. But she doesnt. Whenever she comes over, we have a blast! Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. People who dont stand up for you are not friends nor will they ever make good friends. Understanding your pal's friendship could help you make peace with it. See how they've treated other friends they might have had in the past, how they treat others besides the friend group or if they talk behind each other's back. My friend met her in her class since we were in different one, and was introduced to her. But ofc I have no idea who she is with others so everytime I used to make a joke in our group chat or say something based on our casual interactions, she used to respond in a way like I got issues or said something weird just to create some weird reaction while being perfectly fine in our personal chats. Am i exaggarating and getting offended over nothing? Say he talked shit about another person in the group. I believe i should also mention that Z got closer firstly to my friend since they were in the same class and later she got more comfortable with me, but now why don't i get this? And the way she interacts with others is completely different than how she does with me like we get a long great or whatever. ANY. I feel like whatever I do someone ends up hurt unless I stop liking her, but I dont know how to do that. I dont want to distance myself from her but I feel like thats the only way to do it. Then send it to all your friends. Definitely confront him, but do record it if you need proof to defend yourself cuz your friends are sure as hell not going to believe you and odds are this asshole doesn't give a fuck. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. yes confront him. All 4 of my original friends and I are pretty much in the same friend group and get along well. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! The high road isn't easy, just walk away. The sharing of appreciation is always appreciated. Even if she did, considering our friendship group is so small the dynamic just wouldnt work, our other friend would be third-wheeling and I wouldnt want to put her through that. Find whatever proof you need. And that makes me feel very left out. Confrontation doesn't work with these people. Even if she did, considering our friendship group is so small the dynamic just wouldn't work, our other friend would be third-wheeling and I wouldn't want to put her through that. But it's never that easy is it? Find that reason and reevaluate. Find whatever proof you need. Or do what he does. With one of them i've been with since elementary school, the other one we met in high school. You can make new and better friends having this lesson under your belt. He treats everyone with extreme kindness but is crazy rude and disrespectful to me. i promise you that there is no one out to get you and that the snakes you're scared of arent something that can hurt you. Figure something out. Tonight she visited, which i learnt again through my friend, they made plans with a bunch of others to hang out and she asked me to join them. Don't stay in toxic friendships, it's not worth your time and energy. This is not an all-inclusive list. You can try to confront him but record him instead, if you know he's going to be an ass to you. Am i allowed to feel upset about this situation. My boyfriend doesnt have any of his own personal friends, and I introduced him to mine and now his only friend group is the people I grew up with. If this post fits r/entj, UPVOTE this comment!! What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). Just minding my own business.". Just minding my own business. But I feel like our personal issues should be between us or say one of the guys he deals with. But now whenever we get into arguments or fights that we have to step away from, he steps away and calls him!! It would be different if it was one of his childhood friends that he needed to vent to, but its mine. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. No Not at all, and now Im re reading this it does sound as though Im just dogging him but I promise Im not. You can be yourself and be hated for it. It's a surrender that you allowed him to get under your skin. My friend doesn't see the point of me compalaining over this and i am worrying that she is right, but then again my feelings are also valueble and i don't want to jst brush them off. Sounds like a narcissist at the first glance. In cases like these, there will be such differences between the version of him you would tell vs the image of the person they have in their minds that they would rather think you got issues / or jealous. I am posting here on this app because i'd like a third persopn's opinion on my situation. Or do what he does. It does not matter to whom you are referring.). Maybe I'm just not an entj because I don't think this is What to do about a friend who is a little needy? Am i being paranoid about this? Tell him that personal relationship details shouldn't be talked with anyone. I t could also be that, the truth is i do overthink, i can exaggarate things sometimes and get defensive but it just doesn't feel right to me. You can try to confront him but record him instead, if you know he's going to be an ass to you. Is it worth it to confront him? But recently the friend group I'm in has been hanging out at "Jim's" house. I am posting here on this app because i'd like a third persopn's opinion on my situation. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/TopicLinksContainer.3b33fc17a17cec1345d4_.css.map*/contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. So, when someone goes out of their way to give you money, whether it be for your birthday or a holiday, make sure that you reach out back out and . or situations/content involving minors. He messes with you, you mess with him. Or at least keep it a minimum. This is not an all-inclusive list. And what hell do is call somebody and talk about me in front of me, he always apologizes way after the fact, but he can be extremely petty. I don't get a text or a phonecall like that. leave the entire situation and your friends sound like followers if they turn your back on you completely over gossip. Say he talked shit about another person in the group. I 20M wants to stop having sex with my 19F girlfriend. All you can do is expose him to the rest. She jokingly threatened me at the beginning that no one would believe me and people like her well. Tonight i wasn't feeling like going out, i need a little break to be with myself and only since past couple of weeks have exhasted me. And people wouldnt be able to believe you and he would be able to use this against you further and may accuse you everything he is doing as you are doing. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Cookie Notice well maybe a Fe user? Our bond is pretty strong, we have so much fun together and we et along perfectly well. Please ._2JU2WQDzn5pAlpxqChbxr7{height:16px;margin-right:8px;width:16px}._3E45je-29yDjfFqFcLCXyH{margin-top:16px}._13YtS_rCnVZG1ns2xaCalg{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._1m5fPZN4q3vKVg9SgU43u2{margin-top:12px}._17A-IdW3j1_fI_pN-8tMV-{display:inline-block;margin-bottom:8px;margin-right:5px}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY{border-radius:20px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;letter-spacing:0;line-height:16px;padding:3px 10px;text-transform:none}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY:focus{outline:unset} All bans in this subreddit are permanent. I wont ever tell her about these feelings because I feel like itd just ruin things between us but I dont know how to get myself to stop loving her. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. or situations/content involving minors, Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. If your friends can't see it then they are egotistical douche bags. Doesnt mean you did anything considered wrong. Then send it to all your friends. So you want your friends to see your bf as one of your accessories and not as a real person to be liked or disliked on his own merits (definitely NOT liked more than you), and you don't like that he lets them see more of you than the mask you usually show them. Perhaps you were well liked in the group that got him jealous because he gets validation for being liked. This person, for some reason, disliked me, and enjoyed putting me down with subtle body language like rolling her eyes. Cookie Notice your brain is making things that are not real feel real- you do not have to get in your car, but please call 911 and explain what you've told us in this post and your other . And he's like right down the block from me. You need to think further from yourself. My only issue is that she will communicate through my other friend. And he's like right down the block . A mum-of-two who only eats fruit says her strict diet has cured her chronic arthritis leaving her feeling "like Forrest Gump". Answer (1 of 2): Well, the obvious answer would be to just ignore them. I am in this friend group, me and my other two friends. And makes me seem like Im the problem, which Im not perfect but I hate my relationship problems being spread through MY friend group. Pam Johal, 44, switched to her fruitarian lifestyle after suffering . I think about her so much and I have such a deep connection with her. I actually have an Infj co worker somewhat similar. No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Whenever she gets to be on her phone a little, she will text our other friend, i will learn everything she's up too, what she's doing, what ger plans are, when and if she's visiting us, her little injuries through her. For more information, please see our Unfortunately she has liked other people the entire time and its killing me because I have to give her advice and listen to her talk about her crushes and I know shell never feel that way about me. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. For him being in your friends group well it's over now and personally shouldn't be a problem if he keeps problems to himself. The effects of being bad at expressing warm emotions, Press J to jump to the feed. Read more about QualityVote on their subreddit and any questions should be sent to the moderator mailbox. Look into your friend's eyes and show you're engaged. So had to get rid of you to get the attention on himself or get revenge for that instance? This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. If he overshares or acts the fool talk to him about it. Define what is your business, and reassess what you did wrong. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. "Jim" and the friend I discussed at the start always call me only if they need favors like someone to drive them somewhere. If you ever feel jealous when your friend describes how much they love the person you hate, take a deep breath. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? Hello everyone, QualityVote is a gauge of the content posted on r/entj. You dont need to do anything wrong. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Being attractive is a double edged sword. Good luck! I never did anything to him. All you can do is expose him to the rest. Don't mean to sound harsh, but what exactly has he done wrong? If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. I love him dearly and I want us to work. Welcome to r/relationship_advice. Pretty generic advice question, I know, but Im in a small friend group of 3 people and shes one of them. But she doesn't. I don't even want to fight for her to like me back, I just want these feelings to go away because it hurts so much. Hello you beautiful people! He has also started drinking and act out of character in front of a handful of my folks and its just embarrassing and frustrating and I sometimes wonder if I should have ever introduced him. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Like your friends and feel comfortable around them? He messes with you, you mess with him. I just don't get this kind of communication from her and it slightky annoys me and makes me sad, my friend tho supports i get offended easily. or situations/content involving minors. I started crushing on her in about December last year but got over it pretty quickly, in about a month. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. He is very well liked, I was thinking it would be best to catch him when he is alone and ask him what the fucks going on here. You don't get a free pass. Whenever your friend talks about their friendship with someone you don't like, practice active listening skills. As for confrontation, why bother. You may not do much without clear evidence unless its a very close friend group that everybody knows each other well. He became really cool with this one guy who Ive known forever and Ive become close with his girl, but they have their own problems and are on and off, which is fine. and our I dont even want to fight for her to like me back, I just want these feelings to go away because it hurts so much. Final update: refusing to let my niece perform at my wedding. 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